Thoughts on the Contentious Woman

In the book of Proverbs, there are at least three references to different places which are, although uncomfortable, preferable places to call home instead of living with a contentious woman. We very likely know these verses by heart:

"It is better to live in a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
Proverbs 21:9

"It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman."
Proverbs 21:19

"It is better to live in a corner of the roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman."
Proverbs 25:24

From these verses we learn that a lifestyle of constant exposure to varying natural elements and other inconveniences consequential to living in a desert, or perhaps a restricted area of a roof, is an improvement from a life shared with the contentious woman. To head to the roof is to, quite literally, "move up".

However, that's not all the book of Proverbs has to say about this fine lady, as 27:15-16 provide an appreciated and insightful description of the woman herself, not merely her effect on her cohabitants:

" ¹⁵ A constant dripping on a day of steady rain and a contentious woman are alike;
¹⁶ He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand."
Proverbs 27:15-16 

Verse 15 opens by taking something familiar in nature which is easily brought to mind, and comparing it to the contentious woman, so that some reality about the former informs our understanding of the latter. Thankfully, this concrete comparison is something we ourselves can appreciate even today, though we be 2000+ years removed from the original writing of this passage.

The picture provoked in our minds is that of a constant, persistent dripping on a day on which rain steadily falls from the sky. Now, both parts of this comparison are good to keep in mind (both the dripping and the rain, plus their accompanying adjectives) because from them we may observe that the "constant dripping" is quite likely from the "steady rain" (unless, of course, someone had the mind to physically manipulate the dripping themselves instead of leaving the rain to do it, however such a person is not mentioned in this verse, while rain actually is - so that seems quite unlikely for multiple reasons). So then, the drip is as incessant as its source: a persistent rainfall that isn't letting up. In other words, the source of the drip - and hence the drip - are what we call "inexorable":

in·ex·o·ra·ble

inˈeksərəb(ə)l/,  adjective

impossible to stop or prevent.

That's right, the drip came from the rain, and we can't stop or prevent the rain. It is inexorable.

And such is the contentious woman: inexorable. You can't keep the rain from raining, which causes drips to drip, nor can you keep the contentious woman from contending. She is predictable at least, but just not preventable.

This point is further promoted in the next verse, verse 16:

"He who would restrain her restrains the wind, and grasps oil with his right hand."

This part provokes two more pictures in our minds, again involving things we are familiar with.

First, the wind. Now, nobody reading this is a stranger to the wind, unless you've somehow lived out your life in a cave or a hole in the ground somewhere with no exposure to the outside world (in which case I wonder how you managed to secure internet connection). But as much as some of us would like to at times and as convenient it might be, nobody exercises authority over the wind, nor can we instruct it when to stop or even just let up a bit. It blows regardless of how we feel about it, and we can't prevent it. This, too, is inexorable.

Secondly, we are lead to imagine an attempt to grip oil. Even if you've never attempted this, you can predict the result. In fact, maybe that's why you never tried it - you knew what would happen if you did. No matter how hard you squeeze, you cannot successfully grab oil and keep it in your hand. It slides out and drips on whatever happens to be below it, completely insensitive of your attempts to restrain it, no matter how heartfelt they may be. Any such effort is a futile one with predictable results. So we see that this also is inexorable. 

And such we learn about the contentious woman: she is indeed inexorable. You cannot restrain her, nor can you prevent her from doing what she does anymore than you can shut up the sky to keep a drip from dripping, or stop the wind from blowing, or even prevent oil form slipping out of your hand. It's just the way it is.  

So what's the next best option?

Well, I hear the roof is nice.